* no....not the jolly time of year....or fun....or even COLD!!! it's that time of year for us college students to stress out about FINALS, in my case FINDING A PLACE TO LIVE and wondering what in the HELL DO YOU GET EVERYONE FOR CHRISTMAS!!! one thing would solve my problems right now, or just ease them a bit...SNOW!!!!! im ready for it to get damn cold so i have an excuse of why im not going out on those nights when you really don't want to and it just makes you happy.
* i just want to thank you guys that replied to my question a few weeks ago. i just have learned to deal with it by not dealing with it. no big deal, i trust the guy...but just want to be the only woman in his life, but we all know that is probably not going to happen. so anyways thanks, and i think you both had the best ideas b/c they were just alike.
* i still have the crisis of moving :( what a horrible month it has been. i think i have just decided to go ahead and move to the fort worth area and work at the school through registration and then find a job up there after that. i don't want to start a job for only 6 months and then quit to go on my adventure of my first internship but that's what is going to happen...why? well, b/c i don't want to have to pick up and move again in june! i want to stay in the place that i pick for, well up until other plans are made after college. don't know what those may be but im just sick of moving and i can't stay in the place i am in now! i have found some really good deals and am going to check them out tomorrow (sat.) and see what i can find. i have worked out my money situation and hopefully everything i have planned will go through and then i won't have to deal with it anymore.
* on a lighter and a much needed note...i went to disney on ice wed. night. it was really surprisingly fun. i went with alan b/c he has gotten free tickets to that and then saturday we plan on going to the Rochettes. the costumes were great and it made us feel great b/c we were the only ones there without kids...NOT KIDDING! anyways we had a good time and it was nice to go somewhere other than the regular places....i love you baby!
wow, look how talkative i am today....my fingers just won't stop. hope i have a good weekend!!!!
love me
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i have been having some conflicting views on this subject.....
Can guys have a best friend thats a girl? nothing else, just best friends...and if so what if that guy has a girlfriend...how should she react to them hanging out...them calling eachother....her dropping by to say hey...on and on? i have gotten some peoples points of views but just wanted to see if anyone else had a response to give me.
yeah it's something i am going through but i just need to know if i should even bother with it...should i worry? i don't think i should but i don't want to look like the idiot if something does come up...
well, thanks ahead of time if anyone responds....
love me
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| Date: | 2002-11-11 11:12 |
| Subject: | Crunch Time |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  happy | | Music: | 90's POP |
Yes, it's that time of the year again. When finals are just right around the corner and you just wish you had done better at the beginning of the semester rather than having to cram it all in right now and stil pull of that "A"!!! well, yeah that's me. im just not book smart and it's killing me. actually, i don't really think im common sense smart either....MAN what does that make me...hmmm pretty dumb!!!! well, anyways im trying not to stress out but this weekend really was a hectic one.
Friday I was going to go out with becca but she had to work late so i decided to stay home and study a while. since alan was out of town hunting and everyone else had plans i found it to be the best opportunity. well, around 8 kat called to say i needed to take her to the hospital and we stayed there for three hours. i don't mind taking her and im always her but it was just a long night. then saturday it was great (went shopping with lisa for her to try on wedding dresses and then ate out then had a party) but then becca called when we were all just sitting around shooting the shit and i had to leave. not that becca made me leave but under the circumstances she needed to come to my house and stay. hmmm is all i have to say about that situation as of now. i might just kill someone and don't really want to talk to them but i will keep that between you and me.
im so excited about this weekend...it's the first day in a long time that alan and i have off at the same time. saturday is the only day im looking forward to this week!!! i love you baby!
love me
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| Date: | 2002-07-25 12:12 |
| Subject: | hour of silence |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  listless | | Music: | slow, sappy music |
love working the lunch hour. no one around me at work and very few people come in. it's great!
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yes....i have been stressed lately. just over regular stuff that i think about everyday but this time it just really got to me. of course it has to do with $$money$$!!! b/c i don't have any and everything is catching up with me. also, the wedding is coming so quick that i think i might be stressing more than the bride is. we had the wedding shower sunday, this weekend it's the bachelorette (SP) party and then next week it's the wedding and all that is involved with that. it's going to be a big ass wedding too.....around 250 i think maybe more! crazy huh? well, i have decided and i know many people won't disagree...that i might just get married at lake tahoe or vegas. i think it would be so much fun and my mom already mentioned lake tahoe. so yeah, anyways, i have been sick b/c of stress and im thinking of going to the doc to get something that might help me. my stomach was in knots for the past 2 days and i need to do something about it so i can function. today i feel alot better and im trying not to "think" about anything at all. there are other things that are stressing me out but i just don't feel like complaining anymore. truthfully i shouldn't be stressing over them b/c i don't need too. everything should be peachy!!!!!!
i quite up-n-smoke and now am just working at the school. they offered me more hours and a raise so i made the logical decision to quite the other job. it was cool most of the time while it lasted and i will fill in sometimes but this is the best thing for me.
what else? not much really just same shit except i now believe the full moon does have an affect on people (if you know what i mean)!
check ya later
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| Date: | 2002-07-03 12:04 |
| Subject: | Rainy Days |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  content | | Music: | Gruene With Envy Radio |
im feeling pretty good today. i think its the rain that does it. my first night alone was last night. my apartment seems so big when its just me in there. i really need some pictures on the walls but who knows when i will get some. night before last i had a great talk with alan. we worked some fears, thoughts and concerns out which was well over due. im pleasantly surprised......
im going to the lake house tonight or tomorrow for the 4th of July. speaking of the 4th of July, this means its been a year tomorrow. weird!!!! did anyone ever think i could get passed my passed. Independence Day has two meanings to me.
(im sorry if i have ever hurt you or disappointed you. i have moved on but that doesn't mean i don't love you will all of my heart. who knows what will happen and im just happy that we are the best of friends. nothing will ever come between that. it had to be done and it was for the best. i hope you are doing OK....i love you with all of my heart and soul)
kisses
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| Date: | 2002-06-27 12:55 |
| Subject: | POOPY |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  bored | | Music: | LONELY MUSIC |
I JUST WANNA GET AWAY.....
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| Date: | 2002-06-25 12:36 |
| Subject: | surprise |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  curious | | Music: | country (of course) |
it's weird when people show up out of the blue. completely surprise you, making you wonder what their intentions are. all in all finding out they are good is the best thing one could ask for. i hope and pray they are always good.....
love me
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| Date: | 2002-06-18 13:27 |
| Subject: | Rendezvous |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  rejuvenated | | Music: | Booty Music |
well, last week you know how i just wanted to pick up and leave without even thinking about it. i did....at 1:30 in the morning thursday night. i was up at broncho's in NRH with becca, liz, some of her friends, alan, cury, jeff, brandi and dwayne drinkin' and shootin' the shit. alan just asked me hey lets go to shreveport with one of his friends and his g/f. i was drunk off my ass so i was like YEAH lets do it!!!! i had one change of clothes but nothing else, including money. he said it wasn't a problem so i was like hell yeah lets go! we got there around 4:30 in the morning planning on staying two nights b/c i had to work sat afternoon (was supposed to work friday but called in sick while at shreveport). i watched alan gamble the first night at the blackjack tables until it was light outside. we slept until 3:00 the next afternoon and decided to go around to the other casinos. oh and if you are going to stay anywhere in shreveport, stay at the horseshoe....it was so so nice...complete surprise to me. so we gambled the next day and i lost pretty much everything that i put down on the blackjack tables but at the slots alan and i had the best of luck. i came out even and after everything was paid for alan came out around $100 over. matt didn't do so well and he kept getting pissed at alan b/c of it. we had to leave sat at 10 which sucked b/c i was enjoying my time with them and the slots and the FREE drinks! but there will come a day when i will go back and it will be another great rendezvous to talk about. ANYONE UP FOR SHREVEPORT!!! LOL
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| Date: | 2002-06-12 09:44 |
| Subject: | DOO-BEE-DO |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | content | | Music: | The Sounds In My Head |
Obviously I'm kind of in a weird mood this morning. My legs really hurt but thats about all that is going wrong. I started waitressing last night and man do I need to get some new shoes.
So anyways, yeah starrla78 is right by saying that ex's crawl in and out of our lives. With me it will always be that one that I just can't stop loving. I don't want to but at the same time I feel as though I NEED to.
Have you ever just woken up and wanted to do something so spontaneous that it even surprised yourself. I might do that one of these days. Just get up and GO! Not tell anyone where I am till I'm there. Man the temptations are getting stronger and stronger.
I saw this kitten at Blockbuster this morning when I was dropping off my movies. It was crying and so so skinny. I wanted to cry and just pick it up and take it home and feed it. But I had to turn my back on it. It's so sad....I wish I could have done more. Hopefully when Becca moves out in July I might go ahead and get a cat. One that is older that no one wants in the shelters. I would love to have a cat but I'm afraid my allergies won't be so excepting.
SEE-YA :)
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| Date: | 2002-06-06 13:11 |
| Subject: | TGIThursday |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  giddy | | Music: | Pat Green |
this guy keeps calling me and i can't help but laugh. maybe im the dumb one but i meet him on the plane flying back from chicago. i couldn't get away seeing how i was in the air for 3 hours so i had to talk to him. and honestly what was i supposed to say when he asked for my number. well, im not really interested but it's just the fact that he did ask for my number that is flattering. well, anyways i hate not calling him back b/c im not that kind of a person but at the same time it's scary. im just immature in this area of life and don't understand half of what is going on with men.
becca turns 21 this saturday and finally all of my friends will be 21. it has been hard waiting for her but thank the goodness i don't have to worry about that anymore. i work both jobs today (and yesterday...i think i might die) but then fri, sat and sun it's just a beer or two (hehe), the sun and me. im just going to lay out all weekend and ENJOY the lake-house. So Excited!
i went on my first date really since paul and i broke-up. or at least one that i really wanted to go on. i won't go into it but lets just say i think i will always be in a constant state of confusion. it's not that i am not over paul, i will always love him, it's just that i haven't had to deal with someone elses moods, temperaments and habits for a while now. so it's kind of awkward. but anyways i had fun and it was worth it. hope we do it again sometime.
i haven't been sleeping great or eating that much lately. im kind of worried that i might be doing too much but hopefully i will make up for it this weekend. to those of you who read this (probably just starrla78) but i want to get together with you and just hang out soon. it's summer you know, we are supposed to be having fun!!!
adios...
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| Date: | 2002-05-28 11:49 |
| Subject: | PISSED |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  bitchy | | Music: | NONE |
im frustrated with my life right now! i have NOOOO clue what im doing in any aspects of my life and im really stressed out about it. all i can think about is working and school and love and no love and moving and just a bunch of stuff that i wish i didn't have to think about or even cared about for that matter. im bored with it all.....
im helping liz move today and working of course. whoever said money doesn't make the world go round is a DUMB ASS! that's all that makes it go round and im sick of having shitty ass jobs that don't pay crap. i work hard and for what? i hate having money come in and it go straight out....
wow, ok so i had to get that out of my system. ok...so...later
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| Date: | 2002-05-24 11:38 |
| Subject: | Work-aholic!!!! |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  tired | | Music: | Top Country |
i have decided that making the choice to work so much is really not going to be much fun this summer. it's not that i can't do it, it's just that i want to play too. hmmmm well im pretty much stuck now! oh well!
lisa, that's ok about the talk yesterday. i had fun and im glad that things are really looking up for you. im glad that i got to help you and next time just call me sooner. i always am here for you. also, i tried to comment to your "im sorry" message to me but i don't think it will go through and i don't know what the problem is. well, anyways.....im off to work again
oh the trip was awesome i really like chicago but don't really want to move there quite yet. good to get away but great to be back.
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| Date: | 2002-05-16 13:55 |
| Subject: | FIRST ENTRY |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  anxious |
I have decided to start writing...so...
well, im off to chicago tomorrow morning and will be back next wed. wish me luck!!!
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aryanm's journal
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